Some very nice artwork for those Makeshift Theatre productions of some of my plays ...





And here are the blurbs for them:

PUSS IN BOOTS
written by Noah Smith

When young Guy discovers that his inheritance consists only of a cat and a pair of boots, he is highly distressed, until he gets to know the cat. Saucy and one-if-a-kind, Boots the cat vows to help Guy achieve his goal of marrying the beautiful princess from next door. Boots also helps free the town from the clutches of Ugolin, an evil ogre who has magical powers to turn himself or others into any animal he chooses. Guy and Boots trick the king and queen into thinking Guy is the "Marquis of Carabas" and also trick the ogre into turning himself into an insect who meets an abrupt end, courtesy of Boot's boot. Boy gets girl, the town is freed, magical spells are broken, and much fun is had along the way.

All shows start at 10:30 a.m. Tickets are $10 for adults and $8 for children. Come see us at the following locations:

The Coolidge Corner Theatre
Brookline, MA
Oct: 4, 11, 18, 25, 26

Now, as I think I've said, I wrote that blurb and it's on the Eldridge Website. When I wrote it, I wanted it to summarize the whole story so theatres would know what to expect. Seems an odd choice to reveal the whole plot in a promotional blurb, though ... then again, it's not like you couldn't just read the original story.

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

Adapted by Jack Neary

All shows start at 10:30 a.m. Tickets are $10 for adults and $8 for children.

When the enemies of France lurk in the shadows and hide behind friendly faces, it is up to the three brave musketeers to save the day (and the king)! But this time there's a twist, the musketeers are all women! Portia, Athena and Artemis lead the adventure in this swashbuckling, sword fighting tale of daring-do!

The Coolidge Corner Theatre
Brookline, MA
April: 4, 11, 18, 19, 25

Well, one slight complaint ... I adapted this, not Jack Neary. One slighter complaint ... isn't it "derring-do"?

Would Bizarro Cookie Monster talk normally?

I spent a lot of time driving on Friday, so I got to listen to a LOT of NPR, full of Republicans frantically tap-dancing to spin McCain's VP choice as something other than desperate, poorly-thought-out pandering.

(Plus, she sounds like a minor character from Fargo)*

And I really love when they tried to explain that she's actually MORE qualified than Obama because she has "executive experience."

Okay, let's look at this ... Alaska has a population of about 600,000 people. That's about as many as in a mid-sized American city, like a Boston or an El Paso, or a Cincinnati.

So basically, McCain chose someone who has been mayor of Cincinnati for 21 months.

You know who else was mayor of Cincinnati?





JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!



* is it hypocritical of me to criticize Palin's voice when I bristled whenever anyone mocked Hillary Clinton's speaking style? Yeah, probably it is. But since, by adopting a pro-life position, Palin has proven to be a traitor to her entire gender ... fuck her.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: The guy who played Jerry's Uncle Leo on "Seinfeld" in Burbank, wearing a World's Greatest Grandpa t-shirt.

I hope the Mandelbaums don't find out.

I realize it's pointless for several reasons, but I think I might be developing a small crush on Rachel Maddow.

The Cat's Pajamas

My friends at Makeshift Theatre in Boston are doing TWO of my plays this year, which is very exciting. Here's the audition notice for the first one.

Makeshift Theatre Co Announces auditions for the first show of it's 08/09 season

PUSS IN BOOTS

Written by Noah Smith

Driected by Jonathan Ovebry

Audition will be August 25 & 26 @ 7PM

725 Comm. Ave on the BU Campus

Audition will consist of cold reading form the script. Please bring a resume, head shot and/or current picture.

As always for our family shows we are looking for a bigger/faster/funnier style of humor. Marx Brothers meets Mel Brooks.

Performances will be Saturday mornings in October at The Coolidge Corner Theatre in Brookline @ 10:30am Contact Artistic Director Andrew Rhodes (andrew@makeshifttheatre.com) to schedule an audition time.

When young Guy discovers that his inheritance consists only of a cat and a pair of boots, he is highly distressed, until he gets to know the cat. Saucy and one-if-a-kind, Boots the cat vows to help Guy achieve his goal of marrying the beautiful princess from next door. Boots also helps free the town from the clutches of Ugolin, an evil ogre who has magical powers to turn himself or others into any animal he chooses. Guy and Boots trick the king and queen into thinking Guy is the "Marquis of Carabas" and also trick the ogre into turning himself into an insect who meets an abrupt end, courtesy of Boot's boot. Boy gets girl, the town is freed, magical spells are broken, and much fun is had along the way.

CHARACTERS:King - Male, 20's - ?, genuinely misguided, slow on the uptake, very sweet and sincere, likes to laugh
Queen – Female, 20's -?, quicker than her husband but still a little dense, very sure of herself, persistent, sincerely wrong in thinking she always knows what's going on.

Boots – Pussycat, Female, 20's - ?, fast talker, fast thinker, light on her feet, narrates the story, looks for the good in people, motivator, earnest, HIGH ENGERGY

Guy, - pronounced "Ghee", 20's - ?, Genuine, sincere, eager, tries hard, brave but not boastfully so, full of self doubt

Genevieve – Princess, 18 - ?, Sweet, kind, determined to protect her parents, fiercely loyal, follows her heart without neglecting her responsibilities

Ugolin – ageless, Ogre, villain, greedy, malicious, prideful, thinks he is above consequence

3 Townsfolk – ageless, 3 people, male or female, take on a variety of roles, main task is to create the "scenery" of the story and involve the audience, looking for big characters

MAKESHIFTTHEATRE.COM

That plot summary comes from the Eldridge website. I think I wrote it, or at least the first draft of it. I wrote blurbs for all three of my plays they publish. I know they rewrote the RAPUNZEL blurb extensively.

The character descriptions are all Makeshift (that's with a capital M), and I find them fascinating. The descriptions of the King and Queen in particular intrigue me. I wrote those characters to be identical, a matched set -- the Queen perhaps being a hair smarter. When Worcester Foothills did the play, they made them quite different, having the King played as ancient and the Queen as sort of a Long Island airhead. I had no problem with that -- I thought it worked just fine. Makeshift has found some interesting shading here, some of which might not actually be there, which is certainly a good thing.

I think they've nailed the other characters quite well. In particular, I think they got Ugolin right. There was one moment that I didn't like in the otherwise very good WFT PIB, where, after Genevieve had rejected Ugolin, he slunk away singing "Feelings." Yeah, except he has no feelings. He's not in love with Genevieve, he just wants to dominate. The Makeshift description looks like they get that.

I also find it funny that they're only using three townsfolk. I understand why. I don't know if they pay their actors at Makeshift, but even if they don't, casting a whole chorus would be tricky. The roles, of course, were written for Students on Stage, kids ages 8-11.

Those SOS roles are both my best asset and greatest weakness as I'm trying to get these plays produced right now. Schools love them, so they can cast as many kids as possible. Theatres often have cast limits of 4-6. I would be perfectly happy if these plays were only produced by schools, but it's a lot harder to market to schools -- I have to dig and dig through school websites to find who the drama club advisor is, and I often don't find it.

Anyway, if you're in the Boston area, the Makeshift production goes up in October!

Shout out to friends and colleagues of mine who have been nominated for Innovative Theatre Awards for their work Off-Off-Broadway:

Outstanding Ensemble

Jessica Burr, Zenzele Cooper, Dave Edson, Jason Griffin, Anna Kepe, Eunjee Lee, Celli Pitt, Matthew Sincell, Darrell Stokes, Laura Wickens
Burn, Crave, Hold: The James Wilde Project, Blessed Unrest

Celli was at Brandeis, in the MFA acting program, when I was there. I wrote a short play with a character named after her (that she played when we read it in class), my first semester.

Elena Chang, Noshir Dalal, Jon Hoche, Kelley Rae O'Donnell, Melissa Paladino, Maureen Sebastian, Andrea Marie Smith, Paco Tolson, Temar Underwood
Fight Girl Battle World, Vampire Cowboys Theatre Company

I've known Paco since Elementary School. He and I acted together in CAROUSEL in high school, a play called NOBODY DIES produced at Amherst College in the Summer of 1996, and he read the role of Pablo in the staged reading of AN INTERVENTION FOR ISAAC that Boomerang Theatre Company produced in 2005.

Joe Basile, Christopher Borg, Jeffrey Cranor, Kevin R. Free, Ryan Good, Eevin Hartsough, Jacquelyn Landgraf, Sarah Levy, Erica Livingston, Rob Neill, Joey Rizzolo, Justin Tolley, Jenny Williams
Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, New York Neo-Futurists

Eevin was a good friend at Vassar. We appeared in the same student film, but not onscreen together, though that film is my official link into Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, since Eevin was also in Mona Lisa Smile, with Julia Roberts, who was in Flatliners with ...

Outstanding Actor in a Featured Role

Paco Tolson Fight Girl Battle World, Vampire Cowboys Theatre Company

Yep, him again.

Outstanding Actress in a Featured Role

Britney Burgess Professional Skepticism, Zootopia Theatre Company

Britney was also a Brandeis person, MFA 2004. She was Claire in the first readings of ISAAC.

Outstanding Director

Emma Griffin Removable Parts, HERE Arts Center

I took acting classes with Emma, through the Children's Theatre of Massachusetts around 1988. She directed Abe and my father in THE PIED PIPER (not my version) at Summer Theatre in 1996 and directed Abe in THE SNAKE LADY at NYU in 2006.

Bravo everybody!

Just to clarify, that "three AM phonecall" joke yesterday was a reference to the text message announcing Biden as VP, which reached supporters around three AM. I did not actually get a three AM booty call from Senator Obama himself.

huh ... never would have guessed that the "3AM phone call" would have come from Obama himself ...

Seriously, is "Prairie Home Companion," like, six hours long? I like Garrison Keillor, but Amanda doesn’t, so whenever we’re in the car together on weekends and it comes on, we change the station … but it seems to be on ALL FREAKING WEEKEND. Does it get rerun three or four times, or have those powdermilk biscuit revenues allowed them to expand?

Squiggly Kneed Birthday

Oh, hey, I haven't yet posted a picture of my birthday gift from my parents. They got me The Nearly Complete Essential Fred Hembeck Archives Omnibus ...



Which is cool, but they ALSO got Fred to personalize it with a drawing ...



This is, like, totally awesome.

It is of course both a companion piece to the drawing I got Fred to draw for Abe a few Christmases back ...



And a reference to a bit from my standup act.



Many thanks, Mom, Dad, and, of course, Fred.

Very nicely made music video by old friend Llana Barron, who I directed in ANYTHING GOES back in 2002.

Living on a ship made me do strange things, like attending a toga party.


Yes, wearing a toga over jeans and a t-shirt isn't exactly in the spirit of the evening. I can only go so far, people.

Another thing I'm noticing as I work on this TV project is that men in Hollywood are now addressing each other as "brother." Not "bro" or "brah" but "brother."

For me this is not like "crafty." I like this. We need more brotherhood.

That said, I don't see myself ever using it. I don't use much slang to begin with, not that I ever did (this is a point Ben makes in American Nerd -- Nerd's hate slang ... though I would add "unless it's spawned from 'Saturday Night Live'"). Plus, I have a brother.

Recommendation:

American Nerd by Ben Nugent

This book is a semi-scholarly investigation of the phenomenon, history, and media representation of nerds in America. It masterfully manages to define and analyze a nebulous term and to do so in a tone that strikes the perfect balance between academic and playful. I always consider it a great success if a book makes me want to conduct an immediate conversation with the author about the finer points he or she makes and this one sent me into detailed dialogues in my head between myself and an imaginary Ben Nugent every three or four pages.

The added wrinkle is that I know Ben. He and I went to high school together and, yes, he was a nerd. And for ME to think someone was a nerd in high school, you know it's saying something.

These days, Ben is a published author music writer, dating Mindy Kaling from "The Office." In short, the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction that I assume he has a portrait of himself in some attic, getting increasingly Urkelish every year.

I've exchanged some emails with Ben since I read the book, reminiscing about a play we acted in together called THE AUTHOR'S VOICE. I also directed him in the first children's theatre I ever directed, a production of three Aesop's Fables we toured to local elementary schools. He's a cool guy and I highly encourage you to check out his book.

Sweet Stuff

Some great photos from the recent debut of the latest Smith/Nields musical, HANSEL AND GRETEL. They look fantastic. Sets, costumes, dance ... fantastic. My only disappointment is this: The two girls in the white ballerina outfits are supposed to be human-sized, living gingerbread people. I certainly understand that that's a tall order, something that would need to be made from scratch, with wire framing, etc., etc. I'm sure that would have cost a great deal of time and money ... but ... sigh ... I wanted gingerbread people ... I guess they just have a LOT of frosting.

Look, it's my fault, completely. I knew it was a lot to ask, and this is a mistake I make all the time (what the hell was I thinking when I demanded such an elaborate set for TREASURE ISLAND?). I didn't get to see H&G, so I wonder how it worked. Whatever it did, it was probably fighting against the script and leaving the audience a little confused. Gee ... I would have done some rewrites if they'd told me ...

Oh well, the girls look super cute and from everything I've heard, the cast had a fantastic time doing the show (they started a Facebook group). Hey, if they liked it and the audience liked it, it worked. David sent me the album, and the songs are as great as always. So I'm very happy.

By the way, major props to this cast. Four of them have done several of my plays now, and I really love what they do -- Jenna Dempsey (Pfeffernusse, the taller of the two gingerbreadlings, four plays as an actor, a few more behind the scenes), Nora Smith (H&G's mom, at least five plays, going back to her time as a Student on Stage in CASEY AT THE BAT when she was 11), Chantal Deaton (The Witch, six plays, including two times as Cow Cow), and Julianna Giasea (Gretel, four plays, always seeming to be cast as "the girl," which she does very well -- she also cowrote a song for this show).

Have you seen this one? Extremely cute. If we have kids, we're going to raise them English.

Here are some articles and part of a blog post about a recent community theatre production of my RAPUNZEL script in South Carolina. I love when the reporter says the kids gave Broadway-caliber performances. I'm quite sure they did. The blog entry is a pretty tidy plot summary, though it always amuses me when people are surprised they enjoy my kids' plays.

Youthful actors put soul into play
6/24/2008 11:53 PM 0 comment(s) on this story E-mail this story to a friend



By RACHEL JOHNSON

Staff writer

Delivering Broadway-worthy performances, young cast members presented an outstanding show Tuesday.

Pack your lawn chairs, blankets and children and head to Hopelands Gardens today for the final two performances of the Aiken Community Playhouse (ACPH) Youth Wing's version of Rapunzel. The fairytale play serves as a free community outreach - the Garden Theater.

Audiences are in for a real treat as a cast of seven young actors ranging between sixth-grade to 12th put their heart and souls into their characters and deliver a riveting and hilarious interactive performance.

During Tuesday evening's performance at the Aiken County Public Library, young audience members sat spellbound as Gothel, the witch played by Lauren Ellis, whipped around the stage threatening to turn everyone into toads. Meanwhile the minstrels, played by Jeremy Ateca and Arnaud Huget, brought boisterous performances that kept the laughs rolling.

Rapunzel, Jewel Eckmyre, finds herself in a sticky situation when her parents, Anne Ateca and Ben Fetterolf, decide she will marry Prince Rupert, Wesley Heaton, against the wishes of Gothel. Rupert falls in love with Rapunzel after a galloping entrance and to her dismay no one consults her in the matter. In a twist away from the original story, Rapunzel escapes in a flurry of amusement to become an independent woman.

Cast members connected with their audience and kept them on the edge of their seats, asking questions and seeking their help. Delivering a grand performance, the entire cast played off one another's enthusiasm and the energy of the crowd propelled them to stardom.

You still have a chance to enjoy Aiken's rising theater stars. There will be two shows held today at Hopelands Gardens. The first will start at 11 a.m. and the second at 7 p.m. Both shows will be in the grassy area between the Labyrinth and Caretaker's cottage.

Directing Playhouse production gives teens another perspective

By Charmain Z. Brackett| Correspondent

Sunday, June 15, 2008

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Although they've been involved in several Aiken Community Playhouse productions, two teens are experiencing a different side of theater this summer.

Charmain Z. Brackett/Correspondent

Anne Ateca (from left), Ben Fetterholf and Lauren Ellis rehearse for the Aiken Community Playhouse Garden Theater production of Rapunzel.

Click photo for options

"I've always wanted to direct," said Meredith Walker, a rising senior at Aiken High School who makes her directorial debut with the Garden Theater production of Rapunzel. Nolan Lacy, a rising senior at South Aiken High School, is the assistant director.

Meredith said she suggested Rapunzel to the Aiken Community Playhouse's play-selection committee for several reasons.

"This script is funny, and I think it is something adults would laugh at," she said.

This is not the usual fairy tale of Rapunzel. Yes, she's taken away by a witch as a baby, and she does grow up in a tower, but the similarities end there. This Rapunzel has a mind and will of her own.

Nolan said he has enjoyed the production from the director's chair and thinks he'll be a different actor the next time he's in a show.

"It will help me see why a director is getting angry," he said. "You visualize things in your head, and other people can't see it."

Rapunzel will be presented at three venues over three days. All of the shows are free.

Shows will be at 7 p.m. Monday, June 23, at the Nancy Carson Library in North Augusta; 7 p.m. Tuesday, June 24, at the Aiken County Library; and 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. Wednesday, June 25, at Hopelands Gardens. For more information, call (803) 648-1438.

Reach Charmain Z. Brackett at czbrackett@hotmail.com.

From the Sunday, June 15, 2008 edition of the Augusta Chronicle

My girl's show went well.. very much a children's show, done for young children by slightly older children. In this version of "Rapunzel, it shows her father and mother both with some pretty backward values they try to impart to their daughter from below her tower, and the witch who keeps her in the tower apparently keeps her there so that she won't be all alone. The prince has a high opinion of himself and tries to conspire with Rapunzel's parents in an effort to save her so that he can marry her, and the witch manages at first to run off with the girl in an effort to keep her all to herself. Rapunzel ends up getting the hell away from all of them, getting a job as a hairdresser, buying her own house, making her own friends, and comes back to mildly psychoanalyze the prince, the witch, and her parents. In the end, she tells them she loves them all (save for the prince, who she says she needs to get to know better first), that she's happy to see and visit them, but that she's doing fine and making her own money and decisions. I actually found it rather cute. It worked well altogether and even the little kids who probably weren't really following all of it had a good time.

It seems Michael Scott's favorite way to wake up has inspired someone --

Don McLean really needs to write a song about the day Scrabulous died.

I have a musician friend who made a deal with the Devil. She sold her soul to have a hit song that consisted mostly of her counting to four.

It's a Feistian bargain.

Just back from a concert production LES MISERABLES at the Hollywood Bowl. Certainly an enjoyable evening. The play won't join my personal top ten list anytime soon, but I certainly didn't hate it.

Some things about the shortened concert format of the show made it a little hard to follow, so could you help me clarify one thing ...

The students lead this uprising to protest the way the ruling classes force them to live a life utterly devoid of subtext, right?

There are so many variant forms of Monopoly these days. I don’t even own a standard set, just a Wizard of Oz version Alison got me for my birthday eight years ago. Now, for some reason, I feel like it would be wrong to teach my children to play Monopoly on anything other than the original game. It would be like learning Texas Hold ‘Em before you learn Draw (which kids are probably doing these days, too).

Obviously, I have gotten increasingly cranky in my old age. What's bothering me right now: I'm working on a shoot for a TV show (nothing exciting, I'll tell you when something exciting happens) and everyone in the crew refers to Craft Services (the on-location food) as "Crafty." For the love of god, people, do we have to cutify everything? I know "Craft Services" is a bit of a mouthful, but are we ALL six-year-olds here?

Another thing bugging me about "Project Runway" this season? Tim Gunn not wearing neckties. Come on, dude, you're the classiest man on TV, you don't need to look like Larry Dallas.

Saw a vanity license plate today that said "WK OF ART" which I assume we should read as "work of art." But it's really easy, and likely more accurate, to read that as "whack off art."

Noah wants Suede to be kicked off of "Project Runway" because Noah thinks Suede is really annoying. If Noah hears Suede refer to Seudeself in the third Suedeson one more time, Noah might have to rip someone a new Suedehole.

I'm working near a Circuit City that has the following on its marquee ...

IT'S THE LAW
GET A PARROT
HANDSFREE SET

Now, this is a reference to the recent no-cell-phone-while-driving law in California. But I kind of prefer to read only the first two lines. I think I might like to live in a state that made parrot ownership mandatory.

Celebrity sighting: Bruce Dern having lunch in Pasadena.

Do you think wallpaper could ever come back into style?

Manny a New Day

Dear Los Angeles Dodgers,

So you guys have Manny Ramirez now. I wish you and him well and I'll miss very much having him on the Red Sox. I've followed Manny for seven and a half years, so I wanted to offer some tips on dealing with him:


• Manny will be delighted to learn that celebrities often attend Dodgers games. But he will be deeply saddened to learn that SpongeBob Squarepants isn’t one of them.

• Every July, Manny gets cranky and says he wants to be traded. While it was apparently true this year, most years it wasn’t. Just weather the storm – today he says he wants to be traded, tomorrow he’ll say he wants to be … say … a helicopter.

• When he sees the THINK BLUE sign in the hills, he will probably be very confused and ask “Aren’t those supposed to spell ‘Hollywood’?”

• Don’t tell him how close he is to Disneyland. He’ll want to see if he can zip down for a ride on Space Mountain during the seventh inning stretch.

• Apparently Manny wanted to wear number 34 and was saddened to learn he couldn’t because it was Fernando Valenzuela’s number. I’m sure he’s very confused about how an entire South American country was ever a pitcher for the Dodgers.

• Now that he’s been given the number 99, make sure his jersey never gets hung upside down in his locker or he’ll complain that you changed his number to 66 without telling him.

• He’s going to be really, REALLY excited when he learns who his new governor is.

• Don’t make him lose the dreads. He’s like Samson.

• If he assumes Vin Scully’s broadcasting partner is an FBI agent named Mulder … just go with it.

• Above all, take good care of him, feed him a steady diet of Frosted Flakes and inside fastballs. He may have left Boston with something less than grace, but we’ll always love the big lug.

Thanks,

Noah